


until we meet again

by ayldee



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2800286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayldee/pseuds/ayldee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili can't breathe.</p>
<p>Contains spoilers for BotFA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	until we meet again

**Author's Note:**

> This movie broke me. But I felt a little cheated with Fili's death scene - I just wanted to see Kili mourn his brother. Just for a moment. So I wrote this. While writing I had in mind that they were together, but it can be read as gen.
> 
> I've only seen the movie once, so sorry for any mistakes.

Kili hears the words—he hears Fili shout “ _Run!_ ”—but he doesn’t understand what’s happening until the body falls. It hits the snow with a heavy thump, and with that sound Kili’s world...stops.

His breath seizes in his chest, and he chokes on a gasp, staring at golden hair spread across the snow. He is rooted to the spot, his insides flooding with ice—and then he lets out a desperate, broken gasp, “ _Fili_ ,” and stumbles to his knees beside his brother. His sword slips from his fingers as he reaches out, Fili’s name spilling over and over from his lips in little hitching sobs. His hands clutch at Fili’s wrists, press against his neck and chest, trying to find a heartbeat. He leans down close, cradling Fili’s face and searching for a ghost of breath, for a light in those clear blue eyes.

But there is no stirring of air, and those eyes, the eyes that have watched over him since the day he was born, are empty. Kili clutches his brother to him and stifles a howl in his golden hair. He cannot hold his brother close enough, desperately crushing Fili to him as if he can press life back into the limp body, as if he only has to hold tight enough to keep Fili here, in this world, with him, with _him_...

Sobs shudder through him. He is dimly aware that he can’t stay here—orcs and battle and the duties of a Durin call—but he can’t bear the thought of letting go. He can’t let his brother back down in the bloodied snow; he can’t look again into those eyes and see no sign of life where before they would dance with it, his lips so easy to quirk into a smile. And now...Now Kili will never see him smile again.

Blood is still oozing from the wound in Fili’s back, warm against Kili’s hands. The blade that stole Fili’s life pierced Kili’s chest as well, and tore him apart—only it is an agony worse than any blow, a pain so dark and fierce and consuming that Kili can barely breathe for it. Fili’s soul has been wrenched from his, and the loss leaves Kili with a hollow absence that aches so much Kili feels he will die from it. He _wants_ to die, wants to escape a future without his brother, without Fili...That future yawns in front of him, desolate and bleak and empty, and he shudders away from it. No. A life without Fili is not a life he wants. It is not a life he can _bear_.

But...first, the battle. The distant clash of swords reaches his ears, and with a shaky little sob Kili realises he cannot join his brother just yet. First, he must see this quest through. First, he must finish what he and Fili set out to do—retake their home and return their uncle to his rightful place as King Under the Mountain. 

First, he must see his brother’s killer destroyed.

Kili lowers Fili down onto the snow. He gazes into Fili’s eyes, staring sightless up at the sky, and at their emptiness something inside himself shatters. With a trembling hand he brushes Fili’s eyes closed, strokes the sunshine hair away from his face, and leans down to press a lingering kiss to his brother’s forehead. “ _Tak natu yenet_ ,” he whispers. His voice cracks.

And then Kili forces himself to let go, to draw his hands back, to push himself up on shaky legs. He picks up his sword and looks upwards, towards the precipice where his brother was slain. Where Azog the Defiler stole from Kili the brightest light he has ever known.

The ice in Kili’s blood gives way to fire. He tightens his grip on his sword, and then—cheeks wet with tears, hands sticky with his brother’s blood—he roars his anguish at the cold sky, and rushes to wreak his vengeance.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Tak natu yenet_ \- until we meet again


End file.
